A previous boss of mine, Jason Chen, who was running Intel’s sales and marketing business at the time, had a habit of saying profound things in brief, simple ways.  Maybe it came from a Chinese background steeped in Confucianism, which has many short but wise phrases and proverbs.

He once told me that the best kind of relationship you can have with your customer is one that is “strategic” vs. “transactional.”   What I think he meant was that you want to build long-term relationships with your customers so that they:

  • See you as a partner vs. a supplier.
  • Are trying to do more than just get the best price from you.
  • See the relationship as win-win.
  • Trust you because of your authenticity and willingness to “go to bat” for them.

It is ironic that this came from someone with a Chinese background, as most Chinese businesses tend to be more transactional and less trusting.   This is changing, albeit slowly.

This advice can be applied to personal relationships and networking.  I have mentioned before that I am a fan of Keith Ferazzi and his book Never Eat Alone.  He has created a social network on Ning called Keith Ferazzi’s Greenlight Community, which I’ve recently joined.  He posted a video, which I’ve embedded below, called Don’t Schmooze, They’ll Smell It on Your Suit.  It talks about the same concept applied to personal relationships.  It is short and worth a watch.

At heart, I do believe humans are schizophrenic in nature.  In general, we all are selfish, individualistic and ego-driven, with a competing need for relationships and community (this varies by culture).  But the most successful folks have harnessed their individualism and embraced relationships.